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Biography of the last five years of my life hoboing and Discovering purpose. | Biography of the last five years of my life hoboing and Discovering purpose. Here is my Philosophy | ||
A sense of understanding about the nature of reality requires a leap of faith. We cannot remember creating our life before birth but I must assume that we did prescribe our physical life. I make this leap of faith to remember to take full responsibility for what has transpired and what is to come. | A sense of understanding about the nature of reality requires a leap of faith. We cannot remember creating our life before birth but I must assume that we did prescribe our physical life. I make this leap of faith to remember to take full responsibility for what has transpired and what is to come. | ||
The victim archetype is our greatest hurdle and besets much disruption to the organic flow of life. To realize our potential, we must achieve intuitive confidence beyond our ego which stands behind the helm steering the course. | The victim archetype is our greatest hurdle and besets much disruption to the organic flow of life. To realize our potential, we must achieve intuitive confidence beyond our ego which stands behind the helm steering the course. | ||
The victim is the state of mind which a person doesn't realize that they are responsible for everything that happens to them. This is where faith comes in because we all had our memories erased when we were born. Shamans and mystics have gone into our higher conscious to bring back knowledge that our spirit body co created all that exists before we entered our physical bodies. So during our time in eternity, we choose all of the random paths that will present to us. Our spirit signs up to play the parts and constructs the intuitive to avoid certain roles that we will encounter on along our journey after we are born. Therefore before you learn your true faith or constitution, we cant take responsibility for our the outcome of our circumstances and fall into the victim trap. This is the primary difference between an enlighten soul and the sheepeople who perpetually | The victim is the state of mind which a person doesn't realize that they are responsible for everything that happens to them. This is where faith comes in because we all had our memories erased when we were born. Shamans and mystics have gone into our higher conscious to bring back knowledge that our spirit body co created all that exists before we entered our physical bodies. So during our time in eternity, we choose all of the random paths that will present to us. Our spirit signs up to play the parts and constructs the intuitive to avoid certain roles that we will encounter on along our journey after we are born. Therefore before you learn your true faith or constitution, we cant take responsibility for our the outcome of our circumstances and fall into the victim trap. This is the primary difference between an enlighten soul and the sheepeople who perpetually mis opportunities to awaken and take their destiny into their hands. All of us in our youth will play the victim to identify with suffering and loss. Again, its a necessary path in order to identify with the struggles of our peers and learn to forgive ourselves for taking more than giving. Otherwise we would judge everybody as inferior finding ourselves to be hypocrites without friends. | ||
My victim days created many disruptions that have held me back from doing my best or making the effort to be a leader or hero. I was a victim of not having many expectations growing up. My parents had guilt for not handling their divorce well and couldn't stand up to say what wasn't up to par with me for fear I would remind them of their shortcomings. This must be all too common for children of divorced parents. General disappoint on both sides develops over the years and apathy eventually sets in. I never realized the importance of learning to be self reliant because why persist if you dont have to? Its easier to move on to something else if your | My victim days created many disruptions that have held me back from doing my best or making the effort to be a leader or hero. I was a victim of not having many expectations growing up. My parents had guilt for not handling their divorce well and couldn't stand up to say what wasn't up to par with me for fear I would remind them of their shortcomings. This must be all too common for children of divorced parents. General disappoint on both sides develops over the years and apathy eventually sets in. I never realized the importance of learning to be self reliant because why persist if you dont have to? Its easier to move on to something else if your ticket is paid. This is why I got on legal methamphetamines, know as Ritalin, because my excuse was a common one capitalized by the medical field to treat Attention deficit disorder. Boy you want to talk about a scary person, people on meth are the most terrifying. Sadly we have our children on these meds which the pharmaceutical industry makes great profit from. | ||
There is know basis in reality when you get out into the real world and | There is know basis in reality when you get out into the real world and don't have any self control and lots of addictive behavior. Responsibility is a huge burden to the childlike me oriented behavior habits. So you gravitate toward mind numbing substances and i abused lots compounding my dysfunction. Not everybody is whiling to go through the discomforts of hitting the wall winding up on your ass. Most folks in this position would make a choice to buck up and humble themselves by participating in something that they really dont want to do. The other option is to sell all possessions and hit the streets. I knew that I would make it out alive because Ive excelled when I didnt even try. If you don't know this, dont hit the streets because it really is a scary place. Nobody has sympathy for the guy who has given up. If your clothes are dirty and you look like you haven't bathed, expect for people to not want your presence. | ||
In 2007 when I first became homeless was when the trust fund ran out. Ii spun my wheels expecting a comfortable life but wasn't whiling to provide the hard labor required to maintain it. It caught up to me by mid 2009 when Id overstayed my welcome,at a friend's small apartment in southern cal for nine months. I had to get out of there quickly but had few options. Like before getting stuck, I hopped a freight train with know Idea where it would take me. I woke up in the Oakland shipping container yard and walked with a hungry stomach to Berkeley after a cop made the suggestion. I found refuge in Peoples Park where other people where living under the redwood trees having exhausted all of their resources. While most of the people there were just getting by watching the world from a distance, I had not totally resigned myself. It was a fairly tame environment being on a collage campus. I was entertained and saddened to observe wingnuts raising hell until the cops would snatch them off to the looney bin. Many of them would wind up back in the park and the process would repeat. I walked all over the city, sometimes picking up trash, with out shoes throughout the winter going into 2010. I picked up most all of the trash in the park every few days for three months before getting arrested and beaten by the cops who hauled he off to a very horrible jail. I was bailed out three days later by a community member who Id never met that was affiliated with Food Not bombs. Id done lots of volunteering with FNB serving organic vegan meals in the park and gotten to know folks living in various community houses. Eventually i started camping in the back yard of a long running squat house in north Oakland. It was a peaceful place to sleep under the stars and plum trees for most of 2010 while continuing my service regularly with Food Not Bombs. I developed a bad pot smoking addiction because it was so abundant but mostly resulting from a lack of self control. Being high all the time was a roller coast. Id didn't feel normal unless I was in a state of pseudo bliss. It wasn't true bliss as I thought because eventually tensions rose with other members of the house. I soon found it uncomfortable at the squat and needed to find some sanctuary elsewhere again. | In 2007 when I first became homeless was when the trust fund ran out. Ii spun my wheels expecting a comfortable life but wasn't whiling to provide the hard labor required to maintain it. It caught up to me by mid 2009 when Id overstayed my welcome,at a friend's small apartment in southern cal for nine months. I had to get out of there quickly but had few options. Like before getting stuck, I hopped a freight train with know Idea where it would take me. I woke up in the Oakland shipping container yard and walked with a hungry stomach to Berkeley after a cop made the suggestion. I found refuge in Peoples Park where other people where living under the redwood trees having exhausted all of their resources. While most of the people there were just getting by watching the world from a distance, I had not totally resigned myself. It was a fairly tame environment being on a collage campus. I was entertained and saddened to observe wingnuts raising hell until the cops would snatch them off to the looney bin. Many of them would wind up back in the park and the process would repeat. I walked all over the city, sometimes picking up trash, with out shoes throughout the winter going into 2010. I picked up most all of the trash in the park every few days for three months before getting arrested and beaten by the cops who hauled he off to a very horrible jail. I was bailed out three days later by a community member who Id never met that was affiliated with Food Not bombs. Id done lots of volunteering with FNB serving organic vegan meals in the park and gotten to know folks living in various community houses. Eventually i started camping in the back yard of a long running squat house in north Oakland. It was a peaceful place to sleep under the stars and plum trees for most of 2010 while continuing my service regularly with Food Not Bombs. I developed a bad pot smoking addiction because it was so abundant but mostly resulting from a lack of self control. Being high all the time was a roller coast. Id didn't feel normal unless I was in a state of pseudo bliss. It wasn't true bliss as I thought because eventually tensions rose with other members of the house. I soon found it uncomfortable at the squat and needed to find some sanctuary elsewhere again. | ||
Revision as of 02:09, 13 February 2012
Biography of the last five years of my life hoboing and Discovering purpose. Here is my Philosophy
A sense of understanding about the nature of reality requires a leap of faith. We cannot remember creating our life before birth but I must assume that we did prescribe our physical life. I make this leap of faith to remember to take full responsibility for what has transpired and what is to come. The victim archetype is our greatest hurdle and besets much disruption to the organic flow of life. To realize our potential, we must achieve intuitive confidence beyond our ego which stands behind the helm steering the course. The victim is the state of mind which a person doesn't realize that they are responsible for everything that happens to them. This is where faith comes in because we all had our memories erased when we were born. Shamans and mystics have gone into our higher conscious to bring back knowledge that our spirit body co created all that exists before we entered our physical bodies. So during our time in eternity, we choose all of the random paths that will present to us. Our spirit signs up to play the parts and constructs the intuitive to avoid certain roles that we will encounter on along our journey after we are born. Therefore before you learn your true faith or constitution, we cant take responsibility for our the outcome of our circumstances and fall into the victim trap. This is the primary difference between an enlighten soul and the sheepeople who perpetually mis opportunities to awaken and take their destiny into their hands. All of us in our youth will play the victim to identify with suffering and loss. Again, its a necessary path in order to identify with the struggles of our peers and learn to forgive ourselves for taking more than giving. Otherwise we would judge everybody as inferior finding ourselves to be hypocrites without friends.
My victim days created many disruptions that have held me back from doing my best or making the effort to be a leader or hero. I was a victim of not having many expectations growing up. My parents had guilt for not handling their divorce well and couldn't stand up to say what wasn't up to par with me for fear I would remind them of their shortcomings. This must be all too common for children of divorced parents. General disappoint on both sides develops over the years and apathy eventually sets in. I never realized the importance of learning to be self reliant because why persist if you dont have to? Its easier to move on to something else if your ticket is paid. This is why I got on legal methamphetamines, know as Ritalin, because my excuse was a common one capitalized by the medical field to treat Attention deficit disorder. Boy you want to talk about a scary person, people on meth are the most terrifying. Sadly we have our children on these meds which the pharmaceutical industry makes great profit from.
There is know basis in reality when you get out into the real world and don't have any self control and lots of addictive behavior. Responsibility is a huge burden to the childlike me oriented behavior habits. So you gravitate toward mind numbing substances and i abused lots compounding my dysfunction. Not everybody is whiling to go through the discomforts of hitting the wall winding up on your ass. Most folks in this position would make a choice to buck up and humble themselves by participating in something that they really dont want to do. The other option is to sell all possessions and hit the streets. I knew that I would make it out alive because Ive excelled when I didnt even try. If you don't know this, dont hit the streets because it really is a scary place. Nobody has sympathy for the guy who has given up. If your clothes are dirty and you look like you haven't bathed, expect for people to not want your presence.
In 2007 when I first became homeless was when the trust fund ran out. Ii spun my wheels expecting a comfortable life but wasn't whiling to provide the hard labor required to maintain it. It caught up to me by mid 2009 when Id overstayed my welcome,at a friend's small apartment in southern cal for nine months. I had to get out of there quickly but had few options. Like before getting stuck, I hopped a freight train with know Idea where it would take me. I woke up in the Oakland shipping container yard and walked with a hungry stomach to Berkeley after a cop made the suggestion. I found refuge in Peoples Park where other people where living under the redwood trees having exhausted all of their resources. While most of the people there were just getting by watching the world from a distance, I had not totally resigned myself. It was a fairly tame environment being on a collage campus. I was entertained and saddened to observe wingnuts raising hell until the cops would snatch them off to the looney bin. Many of them would wind up back in the park and the process would repeat. I walked all over the city, sometimes picking up trash, with out shoes throughout the winter going into 2010. I picked up most all of the trash in the park every few days for three months before getting arrested and beaten by the cops who hauled he off to a very horrible jail. I was bailed out three days later by a community member who Id never met that was affiliated with Food Not bombs. Id done lots of volunteering with FNB serving organic vegan meals in the park and gotten to know folks living in various community houses. Eventually i started camping in the back yard of a long running squat house in north Oakland. It was a peaceful place to sleep under the stars and plum trees for most of 2010 while continuing my service regularly with Food Not Bombs. I developed a bad pot smoking addiction because it was so abundant but mostly resulting from a lack of self control. Being high all the time was a roller coast. Id didn't feel normal unless I was in a state of pseudo bliss. It wasn't true bliss as I thought because eventually tensions rose with other members of the house. I soon found it uncomfortable at the squat and needed to find some sanctuary elsewhere again.
Thankfully in the nick of time, I was given pass by my parents who flew me home for Christmas. My clothes were so dirty that the person sitting next to me on the plane was holding her nose in disgust. Im sure my mom was a little disappoint too. I ended up living with an old friend throughout over half of 2011 which also ending on a very bad note ruining our friendship. I couldn't force myself to get out and find some work to contribute to the bills and she eventually sent me a letter telling say I was the most selfish person she'd ever met. I went back to Richmond and tried to work for my dad but didn't have the strength to keep up with his construction crew. Again I took the back door like so many times before and rode the Amtrak to New Orleans. My friends in Nola gave me a great place to stay in exchange for helping them set up a kitchen. I got involved with percussion sculpture artist Clyde Casey again whom we co-produced a tour in 2008 to Burning Man on a credit card I never paid back. I had a ball helping them put on community jam sessions with 30 plus people wailing away on Casey's Cozmic Drum Wheel. Living in New Orleans with all the temptations to party didn't feel too sustainable . I rode shot gun with a friend back to LA and sold my cell phone( like a bum) to make a quick trip back to the East Bay to visit friends. I had a strong desire to go visit my sisters family and my Dad for Christmas and was getting tired of bouncing around all over tar nation. Thank fully again my My Mom flew me back to the east coast to be with my sister,s fam for the holiday.
I was seriously trying to settle in Richmond, my hometown of 27 years. It was a good opportunity to reconnect with family and friends from the past. I began working on a food recycling project for my sister Lainie and her husband Steve’s restaurant in the city called Balliceaux. Then sadly my dad and I's relationship, which was strained due to his many disappointments in me, again dissolved abruptly. I'd was living at his newly renovated home when I packed my stuff into my back pack and hiked out to an empty warehouse near the train station. Meanwhile I reached out to my Mother for sanctuary again, like many times growing up when I had gotten kicked out of Dads. Fortunately they needed help renovating their kitchen and I had enough money to buy a train ticket. One day later I wound here in Midway Ga trying again to get back on my feet. After putting out lots of resumes and trying to refine my fragmented work history, I couldn't get a job offer in Savannah where I hoped to move. Recently from persisting, I finally landed a job and start cooking in a few days in downtown Savannah. Ill be renting a room and finally gaining some independence by grasping my destiny. Im now embracing my duties and responsibilities toward learning self reliance, a core Burning Man Principal.
Out of all of this chaotic travel on the road Ive reached some very helpful conclusions. These perspectives I wouldn't have if Id not kicked back and smoked a few joints and observed life from a distance, not to mention a few thousand Youtube videos. First, i now believe that ultimately you can not get to the work of discovering your truest path unless you have discovered much that dint work for you.You shouldn't be too willful in the pursue of not pursuing or stumbling serendipitously into what the universe is leading you towards. Also, you have to know your character will handle going with out because you have to take risks in order to get over the roadblocks of societies antiquated institutions or norms. You have to trust yourself that no matter what knowing you will get you basic needs met. You must be whiling to give up everything and be open minded to recognize the opportunity you manifested from your hopes and dreams and desires.
Humanity in general is too overwhelmed trying to keep the basics taken care of. Were all gonna die anyway attitude perpetuates a widespread apathy. Our concepts of competition creates domination and thus scare resources. Because every morning we awake trying to compose ourselves to be ready for a full day of problem solving, we don't have the extra resources to deal with decomposition. By this I mean, considering the consequence that results from the scraps of our consumables. The post consumed materials are one of our biggest liabilities and yet we insist on dumping it in the ground externalizing the responsibility. The environment bears the burden which is biting us in the ass as the biological systems are breaking down slowly. Life is compartmentalized to relieve knowledge of the greater world of chaos. Its out of sight out of mind but our entitled society who demands a high standard of living must exploit the developing world who cant defend themselves. So we suffer this angst and overwhelmed state chronically.
It take 40 hours of work per week not including commuting to put food on the table and keep shelter over head. I didn't have any goals that were serious enough to give 40 hours of my time to something I didnt love. The only reason why Im so concerned with doing something revolutionary like turning garbage into clean energy is because I love humanity. People are so freaking amazing most of them that I attract. They deserve to have lots of kids and should have families for generations.
But we constantly have to live with this horrible fear that the ice caps are melting and the water is coming in and all of the planets biology will be thrown out of balance because the salinity change. What kind of future does that look like for a parent who has invested so much time and energy into nurturing their kids into this world? The most radical, revolutionary thing you can do is be a do-gooder. Be someone who considers the impact of their behavior on everything and some who shares instead of demanding a private domicile. Most of use have to be selfish in order to provide for number 1 and our immediate family. The key to contentment is being whiling to sacrifice your comfort to try something that you think you might be good at. Our youth is the great time to try things.I don't think anyone should commit themselves to a career or relationship until they have had a solid 10 years discovering different and random experiences.
I set myself free from the status quo at 27 and dropped out from all resources and community. I'm 34 now and turning thirty five in June. I hope to be doing what I really want to be doing by the time I'm 40. So Ive got a good five years of grunting it out to build the resources needed to get on with the meat and potato's. By getting in touch with the kind of goals Ill need to manifest my best vision of a life, when the going gets tough, Ill focus on whats to come. I believe that a person cannot find their bliss until they walk away from that which provides for them.
My goal is to help create civilization 2.0 which is a sustainable localized economy ecovillage were people work an average of two hours per day. The rest of the time they can explore there other talents. This village recycles the scraps of a local urban population and is built on a site that was polluted by that civilizations wasted materials. The recycler village will turn those scraps into materials for the building blocks of their community and for building open source machines to trade with other communities. This is a real sustainable model called OSCAR Communities. This means open source hardware manufacturing on a widespread level shifting the paradigm of today's wasteful methods. It my goal to help develop a library of critical modular equipment that small groups can build to develop their communities. This is an inspiration revealed by the Open Source Ecology team. Please check them out on the web and discover how you can disrupt the current game and evolve from the wealth of the few to the wealth of many.