Kickstarter Script Feedback
- Luke - [1]
- Chris Galus's friend - File:Galus.pdf
Mitch
Hi Marcin ++ excellent beginning! I truly love the spirit and energy. AND I like the idea - but I have many reservations -- not because the idea itself is bad -- only that it does not differ from MANY that have come before it.
Almost any architect would know.
Perhaps there is something strikingly NEW about your system, I am not sure if you are highlighting it enough. the website seems unfinished - so i can't comment in-depth. here are some logical precedents
pattern language wikihouse plug-in city charter for new urbanism home depot livinghomes living building challenge
send me anything else you'd like me to look at -- happy to support this!!!
Mathieu
Hola Kansas! Here is Tropikal Brussels ;)
I had a week of fun with millions of nice virus in bed. Mmmmm, the best "bed experience" of my life :P I'll tell you all one day in a 400 pages book, including drawing and 3D reproductions. Sadly my brain has been affected...so I'm even dumber than before ;)
Seriously, I love the OBI idea , and this project will be a hit!! I checked you website and it look great. Keep it simple! #PimPamPoum V2 of your script is much better. Yet the solution part is still very long! I would keep it simpole too and avaid repeating another "main problem with house building .... " in the solution part. You have a "problem part" that should be short and clearn and then it's all about great and postiitve news. Don't make it complicate "we did that but then and then so". #TooLong You can explain details elsewhere Bring together the core message of the "what we did to solve it" and " the plan". Go to the core ideas! #LessIsMore At the end, the "what we offer more" have to be very short #PimPamPoum 10 secs max. I once interviewed the co-founder of IndieGoGo and she told me that
the perfect mix is Time (to build tension) / Project / PERKS
In the EU, average is 25 $; 30 $ per person. use the MagicBox idea (you'll surprise them with some special stuffs without telling teh crowd. People love to be surprised ;) you have a large community and this will play in your favor. in the video, try to bring emotions and humour: make your audience laugh, cry, scream and they will jump on board. Rational part is one thing, but the emotional brain is what really maters. How to reach it? Use your pets, sweet and cute Use jokes (like your tractor joke: "it broke, then it broke again, then I was broke") Take the piss of yourselves - people love to see super heros (what you are doing is a super hero thing!) who are not that super either, so that they look more like them. Basic storytelling tip ;) to get more empathy.
Hope this is useful!
I'm around ;) Matt
