OBI Press Release
Contents
v5 Final
Extended - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mIYRUmiD1c8vjPbysV1Sl_nC-3WX4Fu06K_2LSD93OM/edit
v4 Semifinal
v3 by Marc
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GF_jrEw0t5BvHJnUCKDXhmzlmia_yvlAb9Wl6cOX8I4/edit
V2
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BXZNlwnzUESrYG2P5EGuUGuRt737Tzo78uaVoktq_hA/edit
V1
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UIjh40tAVeK0JFNNfed9InhP-rHMQOXmESKttiDaPTw/edit
Marc
Marc Zorn How about something like this?
- The Open Building Institute and *Open Source Ecology Form JV for New Affordable Housing Initiative
- or the names c/b other way around
Sub Headline: Two of the country's (worlds?) leading open hardware advocates have announced their plan for a multi year collaboration focused on every aspect of housing design & construction
-Marc
Hi Marcin & All,
I was able to do a quick review of the PR and I have some comments. My first thought is the release is too long. It is over 900 words. I like to keep them at 500 words or less. Less is better.
I think that it may be more effective to have to company names in the title or sub-title. It also needs a stronger headline in my opinion.
I have meetings all morning and will be back after lunch. I will be able to get into further when I get back.
Here is a few press release guides for your review.
http://mavenmedsci.com/10-reasons-why-your-press-release-sucks/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/zach-cutler/press-release-tips_b_2120630.html
I will give you more feedback/suggestions later today after I have reviewed more thoroughly.
Talk soon,
Marc
I would briefly describe both organizations and why they exist in the first two paragraphs. Add company links there too. In the third paragraph talk about what the merger will look like as well as both organizations expectations. That's also where you can get into the technical information. If you can infuse a story-line throughout the release it w/b good too. Like, how the two founders met, have you worked together before and if so on what? What do you both believe in? The fact that you are both fellows at TED. Didn't Catarina do some work on the OSE micro-homes in the past?
Marcin, here is the featured quote from the Micro-House release that talks about OSE's vision:
Our vision is to provide high quality homes that the average person can afford, avoiding burdensome mortgage payments. Imagine a world with little to no mortgage/rent or utility costs—we see this as a significant step towards personal freedom
Maybe that quote can be re-purposed as well.
If this release is coinciding with a crowdfunding campaign you will want to talk about a little more and add that info (date, platform) at the end of release as well as the campaigns link. If you want to put more emphasis on the crowdfunding campaign, it could be added into the title or subtitle to create more awareness.
The triple open source scope section is good as well as the part about the library of design modules.
The last section is from an old PR and as much as I like it, I would pull it out of this one. Maybe you can re-word and re-purpose some of the content when describing OSE.
We need to chop at least 300-400 words off this draft in my opinion.
Let me know your thoughts
-Marc
